I’m glad I’m not a gambler. I would have bet my lovely new sofa that some fire-spewing fundamentalist would say that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by an act of the brutal and vindictive God of his particular religion. It never occurred to me that a fire-spewing fundamentalist would blame the devastation on a satanic curse! Ha’ mercy. It appears that absolutely no one but Pat Robertson knew that Haitian leaders had made “a pact with the devil” a couple of centuries ago.

But wait–there’s more: Robertson claimed on his television show that the earthquake could be a “blessing in disguise.” Of course! Now the country has an opportunity to rebuild from scratch, and perhaps rid itself of that ugly curse, he concluded.

I’m sorry, but Robertson is the real blessing here–at least for me. Not only has he so dramatically demonstrated how ludicrous it is for 21st century Earthlings to share the beliefs of ancients who attributed everything to God because they knew nothing of seismology or any of the other sciences that have provided more intelligent explanations. Robertson’s latest unenlightened utterance has inspired so many creative responses that I was spared that task today.

I had just written the first paragraph of this blog post when I received an email from a friend in Los Angeles. It contained a link to a recent opinion column in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. The column included letters from two Earthlings who actually think–something the good Reverend Robertson should try, from time to time, unless he’s acquired a craving for shoe leather.

With that, the Loud Mouth will shut up so that you can enjoy these delightful letters! In case the link above doesn’t work, I’ve pasted the column below. I don’t want you to miss this:

Letter of the day: Haiti suffers, and Robertson sees the hand of Satan

Last update: January 14, 2010 – 6:44 PM

In a small paragraph on page A10 of the Jan. 14 Star Tribune is a report about the remarks made by evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson. Obviously, Robertson believes in creation, not evolution, or he would understand that earthquakes predate the human concept of a curse. Also, Poseidon was considered in mythology to be the god of earthquakes and the sea; therefore, it stands to reason that perhaps he, too, was offended? I hope that Robertson will make a public apology to the people of Haiti for making such a ridiculous statement.

H. BETH LABRECHE, FRIDLEY

•••

Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll. You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan

LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS

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9 Responses to Pat Robertson is the REAL “blessing in disguise”

  1. jamal says:

    The Devil Sues Pat Robertson for Breach of Contract

    http://wp.me/pIP1s-2v

  2. Godless says:

    I’ve recently heard about a curse that some believe in Haiti that happened during or after the revolution against the French. I don’t know much about it.

    Basically, Pat is simply telling all those Black Heathens that they should know their place; since they rose up and took power back, things have gone down hill for them.

    Hold your breath for the huge/massive outcry of disgust from the Right over Pat’s words. Hold it… hold it… any second now…

  3. Rev. Bobby says:

    Chile….You just gotta pray for Pat…..

  4. Saint says:

    Pat,
    I particularly like the second letter. As I recall some of the same kind of rediculous comments were made about New Orleans when Katrina hit. These kind of beliefs really demontrates how foolish it is to believe that and angry GOD causes everything on Earth and that He punishes evil. It is so sad that so many people still believe in such ancient concepts. If any nation has had a pact with the Devil it would be a Nation that stole the land from original inhabitants, almost committed genocide, enslaved another race, and recently spent billions of dollars bombing the hell out of a nation in the middle east. Let us continue to pray that a majority of the people will someday know the Loving Creator that we know.
    Peace, Saint

  5. Denrique says:

    Wow, that second letter is an amazingly unique letter from Rush Limbaugh. (Yes, I truly believe he is the devil).

    Pat Robertson better haul this tail to confession, because he might have to face Rush Limbaugh when his life comes full circle!

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