Law of Attraction “secrets” that #LOA enthusiasts never mention

The Law of Attraction has been the focus of several conversations within the past week, inspiring me to update the book I wrote on the topic several years ago, Crossing an Unseen Bridge: The Law of Attraction Secrets No One Wants to Talk About. I’ve put it near the top of my to-do list. In the meantime, I’ll discuss it here.

For those who have heard the term “Law of Attraction” or have seen the hashtag “#LOA” but are not sure what it means, let’s first look at what a law is and isn’t, what it does and doesn’t do:

Laws produce the same result every time for everybody

First and foremost, laws are predictable. They produce the same result every time for everybody. That’s what distinguishes a law from a possibility. Imagine this: You’re going to a football game and every seat in the stadium is filled. You can predict with certainty that not one seat will suddenly be vacated because its occupant randomly floated into outer space.

Why? Because the Law of Gravity grounds every edifice to the planet, including that stadium; ditto for every seat in the stadium and every physical being or object occupying a seat.

This phenomenon doesn’t happen occasionally or frequently. It’s governed by a physical law. Consequently, there are no flying buildings or flying people—unless you’ve heard of instances of which I am not aware. If so, please share.

Laws don’t require human intervention

The Law of Attraction is KARMA by another nameWe don’t have to do anything to invoke the laws of gravity or attraction. We don’t have to read books or attend seminars to learn how to use these laws for our benefit. They are in effect all the time, without our awareness, intervention or facilitation.

Many disagree, starting with the creators of the 2006 “The Secret” movie and Rhonda Byrne’s bestselling book of the same title. They claim that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work unless we work it.

They contend that with some effort, we can attract everything we want or need. All we have to do is:

  • Repeatedly think about the object, situation or person of our desire (i.e., make it our dominant thought),
  • Believe that it will manifest, and
  • Maintain positive emotions that our desired outcome will manifest. The more gleeful we feel, the higher our vibration and the more likely it is that we will match the vibration of our desired thing.

If humans can manipulate the Law of Attraction to produce what they want, everyone who has followed these steps consistently receives what he or she wants, without one exception because laws produce the same results for all.

If we follow the same directions and get a different result, it is not a law

Since 2006, more than a million people have seen the “Secret” movie, bought the book, paid for seminars and practiced the principles espoused by the motivational speakers who appeared in them. Some of them got precisely what they desired—but not everyone. That would be a clue.

Sometimes we ignore clues. During a 2008 show that focused on what I call the commercialized version of the Law of Attraction, a couple of women had LOA testimonials. One claimed that because she decided to think positively about her husband’s surprise lay-off, and celebrate rather than mourn when he returned home, he landed an even better job weeks later. (One might ask what she was thinking before he was laid-off, if LOA did all that.)

Oprah shared an LOA testimonial of her own: She claimed that she had attracted a beautiful silver bubble blower from Tiffany & Co., just minutes after declaring to a guest who was making phenomenal bubbles that she’d love to have a bubble blower.

Wow! What a powerful demonstration of LOA, she thought. I didn’t. And she confirmed it when she finished the story:

In the next breath, Oprah told the audience that her assistant had given her that bubble blower from Tiffany & Co. several months earlier. Yes, months before a bubble blower was even on Oprah’s radar, let alone on her wish list, that gift had sat in her office, unopened. Her assistant brought the gift to Oprah’s attention after she mentioned it on the air.

Not to disparage Oprah. I like her personally. We socialized when we worked together at ABC-7 years ago. I’ve brought in a New Year at her home; I think she’s cool people and would never do or say anything to intentionally mislead anyone. But not only did she drink the LOA Kool-Aid, she gave credit to LOA that belonged to her poor assistant who’d been waiting for months for her gift to be opened.

I remember that incident so vividly because it inspired me to write “Crossing an Unseen Bridge.” Thank you, Girlfriend!

We must think before believing

If life worked as LOA disciples claim, everyone who follows its prescribed steps would attract their desired result. There would be no exceptions: Every sick person who wanted to be healed would be. Everybody who didn’t want to die would not. Everybody would be admitted to the college at the top of their list. Everybody would land the job and marry the mate of their desire.

People in countries who desperately want clean water, access to affordable healthcare and an end to war would receive that. And everyone who wants a lovely gift in a Tiffany box within minutes of expressing a desire for one. In fact, banish the thought, everyone who wanted to be released from prison would simply have to focus on their freedom, visualize themselves on the outside, and feel the ecstasy of that moment when they walk out of the pokey. Whoo hoo! Freedom! Praise LOA! Hallelujah, amen!

There are a number of other secrets that LOA enthusiasts don’t tell us. I’ll share them with you next week, starting with this little factoid: The monetized version of the Law of Attraction pretends that two words don’t exist in our vocabulary: Surprise and disappointment. In fact, you might call it LOA’s Achilles’ heel.

Know that I love you much—and I encourage you to keep thinking before believing.

Does Holy Week celebrate the divine or the diabolical?

I realize that everyone is not attuned to the jaw-dropping ways that humans have perpetually demonized God. But it seems to me that the demonization is so over-the-top during Holy Week that at some point in our history as thinking beings, it should have caught our collective attention.

An online search turned up results about the demonization of America, the Queen of Sheba and others. But not one word about the demonization of God. Fascinating.

Not only are we oblivious to the fact that we daily demonize God, we seem to be completely unaware that Holy Week’s underlying message is that Yeshua (Jesus) didn’t understand God at all.

Consider what we’re called to worship this week, and ask yourself: Am I celebrating divine or demonic behavior?

1. God sent Yeshua on a worldwide “good news” tour that was doomed from the start.

As the story goes, God sent Yeshua to Earth to set the record straight on a few things:

  • God is not the angry, vindictive brute described in scripture;
  • God does not solve human problem through murder, as described in Genesis;
  • God is within us;
  • God loves us unconditionally, and we should love each other the same way;
  • God forgives with no strings attached;
  • God welcomes home even the prodigals among us;
  • All we really need to do is treat others the way we’d want to be treated;

To make sure that this good news was spread, God entrusted “His only begotten son” with the task. I’m not going to address claims that Yeshua was half god and half human. At a later time, we’ll discuss the intersection where mythical gods who impregnated human virgins without semen and Old Testament midrash met.

If midrash is an unfamiliar term, I’d suggest insightful articles such as this one by theologian Robert M. Price. There also are a number of fascinating resources about the long history of virgin births that might interest you. These legends preceded Yeshua’s birth by many centuries, as outlined in this article by theologian John Keyser. They all were born on December 25, healed the sick, raised the dead, were executed by the establishment and rose from the grave in three days. But I’ve digressed from Holy Week’s demonization of God:

As we all know, there was no Internet, radio, television or even a printing press in Yeshua’s day. My goodness, there wasn’t even a public address system for him to speak to thousands of people at a time. (Yes, I took a swipe at that fish story, too.) But God allegedly had charged Yeshua with this task, and he was compelled to do it to the best of his ability. Unquestionably, it was his life purpose and passion.

So Yeshua set out on foot, donkey and the occasional non-motorized boat to share his good news. Three short years later, after he’d only reached a small fraction of the humans on earth, he was sadistically tortured to death.

Why? Well, according to scripture…

2. God planned all along to have Yeshua murdered.

To recap: God sent Jesus to Earth to tell as many people as he could, without electronic or social media to amplify his message, that God was not a tyrannical hypocrite who solved problems by killing humans. I suspect that part of the good news was that we should ignore the 50+ circumstances outlined in scripture, in which God allegedly mandated us to kill each other.

God gave Yeshua only three years to accomplish this mass communication campaign. Yeshua recruited and trained others to help him spread the message. Most of their time, however, was spent with him.

When the clock ran out on the campaign, God simply solved the sinful-human problem by having “His” messenger sadistically tortured to death. The murder didn’t put an end to sin. But of course, the Omniscient would know that.

After all, in Genesis, God had boasted that “He” was killing every living thing and starting over. Then, after surveying the mess made by the Great Flood, “He” lamented that it was all a mistake because man was naturally sinful. What that story alleges is that God not only makes mistakes that “He” regrets, “He” is not omniscient and has no clue about the outcome and effectiveness of “His” actions.

So, in a way, it almost makes sense that this God would rectify that by killing one person instead of everyone. Again: Is God’s behavior scripturally depicted as divine or demonic?

3.  Yeshua knew all along that God planned for him be a live sacrifice.

Live sacrifice was a sacred ritual of ancient people who believed that they had to kill something (or someone) to please God. You’ll recall that after the deadly flood killed everything from animals and infant humans to plants, trees and the elderly, Noah grilled one of the surviving animals and God was pleased with the smell. (So much for repopulating that species.)

This a barbaric practice was widespread because then, as now, people believed in a quid pro quo God. They worshiped a God who required an offering in exchange for granting their wishes.

Live sacrifices have been abandoned in most cultures today, but not all. Today’s headlines bear witness to the lingering barbarism of people who worship a violent god who requires mercy killings, even of loved ones.

What we are to believe here is that Yeshua knew from the beginning that God’s forgiveness was conditioned upon his excruciatingly painful live sacrifice. Despite that we are told that he taught that God was unconditionally forgiving. If you do not find that to be contradictory, I invite you to explain it to me.

4. God would forgive “His” bad kids on one condition: “His” only good kid was brutally tortured to death.

Suffice it to say that Holy Week teaches us that Yeshua and his lovely Prodigal Son parable got it wrong: God is not that father; “He” does not forgive unconditionally.

The natural question is: If God was going to solve “His” human-sin problem by having Yeshua heinously tortured to death, what was the point of sending him on that impossible worldwide journey to teach that God is not the Old Testament brute? Clearly, “He” is, according to the New Testament passages we celebrate this week.

Like the God portrayed in Genesis, “He” is not omniscient. “He” didn’t even know that murdering “His” only good kid was not going to make “His” bad kids walk the straight and narrow.

So the question remains: Was God’s plan for Yeshua, as outlined in scripture and celebrated during Holy Week, divine or diabolical?

5. God views the murder of an innocent child as an act of love.

To that, I have two questions:

  1. Under what circumstances is it an act of love to have one’s child tortured to death?
  2. Would the Divine or the Devil have an innocent child murdered so that guilty children can go free?

6. God’s plan is to brutalize all of us, unless we believe that Yeshua was heinously murdered instead of us

The Bible, the billboards, the placards, posters, magnets and Internet posts proclaim: “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) In other words, God loved “His” bad kids so much that “He” gave his only good kid to the sadistic Roman soldiers so that they could subject him to a long and painful death.

The message here is that those who don’t believe that God ordered this inhumane deed will be severely punished. Rumor has it that this time, the torture will last throughout all eternity.

Does this align with the good news that Yeshua taught, including his Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)? The behavior of the God that Jesus described during his much-too-brief good news ministry appears to be dramatically contradicted by his gruesome murder. Yet we are encouraged to celebrate this inhumane act of God. We even wear replicas of the murder weapon around our necks, in our ears and hang it in our homes, and places of business and worship.

Ironically, we call Satan the “enemy,” yet we worship behaviors that are nothing short of satanic. We have absolutely no awareness of the horrific things we are saying about God or how our worship of evil has perpetuated a world in which problems are solved by killing people. The reason probably lies in the fact that we are threatened that if we don’t believe what others want us to believe, God’s gonna get us.

Why do we believe that God behaves this way? Is that the kind of behavior we choose to worship?

God’s favor: Spiritual truth or egoic oxymoron?

favor-nehemiahI frequently hear others claim that they have God’s favor. It compels me to ask: Since favoritism isn’t fair, why do we think God does it?

Is God’s favor a spiritual truth or an egoic oxymoron? It seems that humans have always declared themselves “chosen” or “favored” by their god. Some even have written that God told them that they were favored. Fascinating stuff.

We love to feel special, don’t we? And we love to feel more loved than anyone else. It makes us feel safer in a scary world in which threats lurk around many corners and everything is constantly deteriorating, dying—or both.

What favor implies

As with other beliefs we hold about the Divine, we don’t consider the implications. We’ve agreed that there’s just one God, yet we impose regional and cultural restrictions on One who cannot be confined to a culture or region. Can we really win favor with the Almighty because of what we do, how and how much we worship, and what rules we obey when practices considered sacred in one culture are sacrilegious in another?

God's favor can turn everything aroundWhich part of the One God are we offending and which part are we serving? Which part favors us because of our particular practices?

Cue up the Superior Dance music

This “God’s favor” concept fulfills our egoic need to feel superior: “God gives us attention and blessings,” we sing, thumbing our noses. “God gives us whatever we want: great jobs, homes, cars and perfect mates. God even helps us pass exams and win sporting contests.”

Meanwhile, millions of our siblings in other parts of the world do not even have clean water to drink. God does not favor them? What kind of God would withhold life-giving water from His child? (Please fill in the blank: ___________)

Generally, if you want favor, you have to worship God a certain way: our way. Ours is the only path leading to a god whom we’ve limited to a gender and confined to a spot in outer space.

Do you see what I see?

If we took the blinders off our I’s, we’d see billions of God’s children who’ve never heard of our path. If we dared to turn a discerning ear to the things others told us to believe, we might even wonder why God only told some of “His” children how to get back to outer space. Instead, we complain that we ordered grilled onions on our double cheeseburgers and they were raw.

Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto MeIf we had a modicum of “whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers” empathy, we might be pained that millions of our siblings are living without God’s favor, suffering through droughts, famine, civil wars, tent cities, sexual abuse and genocides. Instead, we boast that by virtue of God’s favor, we are protected from harm.

So children who are molested by pedophiles are not favored? Those whose homes or homelands are destroyed by natural disasters are not favored? Babies born in war-torn or famine-stricken areas are not favored? Women worldwide who are victimized by rape and other abuses are not favored?

What kind of God would protect some, but not all, of His children from these traumas? (Your answer here, please: ___________)

I asked you to fill in these blanks to encourage you to think about your beliefs, and the ways they (and you, by extension) demonize God. We claim “God is Love,” but ascribe behaviors to God that bear no resemblance to Divine Love.

Divine Love is universal. It does not reward some and harshly punish others. Divine Love does not judge or condemn, kill, crucify or cause human suffering. And oh, by the way, Divine Love is not capricious; it does not play favorites.

We hurt no one but ourselves by believing before thinking. We are so afraid of being ostracized or criticized by those who want us to blindly parrot their beliefs that we join their chorus and sing their refrains claiming that God does things Love would not.

We’ve done this for centuries; we can stop at any time. We can start by examining the concept of God’s favor: what it implies about the god we serve—and what it implies about us, as members of the global human family.

 

Toppling your stumbling blocks

A friend recently moaned, “I want my old life back. I want to be able to go out to dinner at a restaurant with tablecloths instead of a Playland.” How many of you can relate to that?

stumbling blockThe global economy and the shift in certain industries has become a stumbling block for millions. But perhaps what has tripped us up more than anything is our eyesight: how we see ourselves, others, and how we perceive and judge our experiences.

That was at the heart of the discussion last week for the men and women who attended our first online DQWorkshop. We explored two questions: Who are we? Why are we here?

The answers were rather fascinating. When polled, more than 70% of the attendees indicated that they have souls. In other words, they are bodies. But as the discussion progressed, some of them began to recall incidents in their own lives that revealed that they are more than mortal bodies that possess immortal souls. In fact, those recollections prompted them to consider the possibility that they are more likely immortal souls wearing human bodies—”costumes” in DQW-speak.

One attendee, who previously had indicated that she is a body with a soul, suddenly recalled a terrifying experience she’d recently had in the middle of the night: She was fully awake, hovering over her bed, looking down at her sleeping body next to her husband. What did it mean? She wondered.

I’ve never had an out-of-body experience, but I’ve read numerous accounts from those who have. Many have reported experiencing them during near-death or clinical-death episodes. Others enjoy going into deep meditation and leaving their bodies intentionally—something I’ve never considered.

“Did you notice whether you had a body as you hovered up there?” I asked. “Did you have hands, feet—anything?”

“No. I didn’t have a body,”she responded.

“Where was your awareness?” I asked. “Was it in your body?”

“No.”

What she was telling us is that her consciousness and her identity as Self was in the part of her that was outside of the body. Her frightening but insightful experience had revealed a couple of things: 1) We are not our bodies and 2) We are invisible when we’re not wearing a body costume.

I could see the Light go on, even though I couldn’t see her or the other attendees. She had dramatically, yet inadvertently, hit the sweet spot of our webinar: Who are we?

Next question: As invisible spirit wearing bodies, why did we choose to be on this planet, in our respective countries, with our respective families and friends at this time in Earth’s evolution? The answer is different for each of us. As we’ve noticed, there is no cookie-cutter life experience.

What I’ve noticed is that our unique purpose as soul can often be found inside the things that evoke the most passion in our physical selves. If, as soul, we have a purpose for being here, do we want to leave the body without fulfilling it? But often, our soul purpose may be waiting to be discovered behind the things that challenge us most: our stumbling blocks. Many of us don’t even know what’s keeping us from moving forward. Is it:

  • Habits?
  • Failure to do what’s required?
  • People on our path with ill intent?
  • And, if we are souls, is it our spiritual history?

Discovering Your Unique Soul PurposeIf you believe everything happens for a reason, you’ll agree that these are some issues to seriously consider. This week, we’ll peel away another layer to get closer to your unique soul purpose for being on this planet, in that body, at this time.

Perhaps your frustration is rooted in the fact that your physical self and Soul Self are not on the same page; each has different goals. If there’s a battle of wills, guess which one wins?

Join us for the next online workshop, Thursday at 8pm CDT, and unmask your stumbling blocks. See what blessings and insights they hold for you. The online workshop is free. Register today.

“See” you there! Explorations always result in plenty of questions. I’m looking forward to another vibrant Q & A session.

Discovering your unique soul purpose

Before Thursday’s launch of the “Discovering Your Unique Soul Purpose” webinar series, I’d like to share some thoughts…

I am really humbled that Spirit has entrusted me with this topic to launch the online version of the Drama Queen Workshops. This one is not for the masses. It will only appeal to a distinct group: Those who are ready to start consciously reconnecting with the Divine within them. I’m very excited about the growth journey we’ll be taking together.

This series requires a desire to think bigger and a determination to dig deeper. These are folks who are at the stage in their evolutionary development in which they are demanding answers to the question: “Is this it? Is this all there is to Life?”

Is that all there is? Please help.
from http://adriansjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Sound the Universal bells. Someone is ready to become a Seeker. Someone is ready to more deeply understand Life, in general, and one person’s life experience, in particular.

One of Life’s Greatest Gifts: Adversity

Typically, we begin to question Life and its meaning when we’re encountering some type of adversity. That’s why I believe that it is such a beautiful thing.

If you have plenty of discretionary income, no debt, the family is healthy, the job is rewarding, the late model car isn’t a lemon, the significant other is faithful, reliable and “cooks” in every room, friends and co-workers aren’t stabbing you in the back, disappointments don’t visit you and every surprise makes you squeal with delight, Life doesn’t need meaning. If Life means anything, it means that you’re supposed to have a grand ol’ time on Planet Earth. Well, good for you and your perfect Life.

No one would be motivated to look deep when everything on the surface legitimately deserves their rapt attention. Chances are you are not living that drama-free life.

What’s really behind all your drama?

Like me, you’ve hit some bumps, and you probably responded to the adversity the way most do: “That’s life. Life’s unfair. Life’s hard. Life’s complicated.”

What if Life isn’t any of those things? What if Life is more than the human eye can see? What if we are more than we can see? What if coming to Earth is an extreme sport for the strongest of souls. What if we came here to looking for even greater challenges (read: drama) to help us grow even stronger?

One of the challenges I established for myself was to resume piano lessons as an adult. Frustrated with my lack of progress after a few years, my piano teacher kindly reminded me that I couldn’t make my fingers stronger by lifting cotton balls. In other words: I needed to do my exercises.

barbellsWhether it’s finger or whole body fitness, exercises generally aren’t fun and they’re very targeted. Everyone doesn’t have the same shape or the same problem areas, so we don’t have the same workout.

Ditto for adversity: Every human faces it, but not the same kind and not to the same degree. Being unable to pay rent on time is an adversity, but is not the same as living under blankets in the doorway of a store. The opportunity to learn and grow through adversity is priceless.

It’s very evident that every soul didn’t come to this planet to have a cushy life. They saw some benefit in a more bare-bones experience. If you have all eternity to live, why not experience it all?

When we understand that all experiences serve the soul, no matter how uncomfortable they are to our mortal body costumes, we begin to clearly see the answer to the anguished cry, ” Why, God, why?”

Why did I create this? How does it serve me?

For souls who are awaking to their divine nature, the most healing questions focus on the benefit of any adverse experience: Why do we create and attract adverse experiences and bad actors—sometimes repeatedly? What’s the specific benefit of these experiences? What were we trying to achieve, as soul? If we don’t know, we’ll keep repeating the experiences until the body grasps the lesson that the soul intended. We’ll be exploring some tools to graduate you from Life’s classrooms more expeditiously throughout the “Discovering Your Unique Soul Purpose” webinar series.

For those who have registered for the first webinar “Who Are You? Why Are You Here?” look for workshop materials and connection information in your e-mailboxes on Tuesday. If you haven’t registered yet, how long are you going to postpone this important discovery? If you’ve read this far into this post, you are a Seeker. Time to start acting on it. Register here.

For newbies, remember: DQWorkshops are not seminars. They’re interactive. I’m there to help you find your own answers, not give you mine.

There are thought-provoking, but fun—here’s that word again—”exercises” and discussion. Initially, there will be no improvisational role playing in the front of the room, as we normally do, but I’ll eventually figure out how we can do it in this format. We always have so much fun with them.

Also, I intended for the first webinar to be a freebie while I navigate the technology for the first time. I understand that you’re being charge 1¢ at checkout. One thing I can guarantee, I’ll make it worth your investment.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to the session! If you have any questions, you know where to find me. I’m always here for you.

Is forgiveness a matter of life and death?

You accept God's forgiveness by extending it to others--A Course in MiraclesMost of us believe that we’re granting someone a favor when we forgive them. In reality, we’re doing ourselves a favor: We’re freeing ourselves from the grip of any negative energy associated with the incident.

When we forgive others, we also are making a conscious choice to defer to what some call the Law of Reciprocity, the Law of Attraction or karma. We are trusting that in a “what-goes-around-comes-around” world, hurtful behavior will be naturally balanced at the most perfect time and in the most perfect way.

Allowing every soul to receive what we’ve given isn’t punishment or reward; it’s merely balance. It’s divine fairness.

Forgiving others also is a conscious decision to heal ourselves so that we can progress on our path instead of being stuck in someone’s stupid. Forgiving someone does not endorse or excuse their behavior. And it does not let them off the hook. They own their behavior, and they alone will be held accountable for everything they do.

It reminds me of the time I was walking out of my office and a concerned staff member called me back. I’d left my wallet on my desk. My response: “I have way too much work on my plate to add the task of monitoring someone else’s karma.”

As far as I was concerned: If someone came into my office without permission and stole my wallet, oh well. They had just signed a requisition for someone to violate their space and steal from them. It’s what happens whenever we do something to someone else that we wouldn’t want done to us. That’s why the rule is golden.

There’s no better time to be selfish than when deciding how to respond to someone’s harmful behavior. The most selfish thing we can do is to avoid creating any negative karma of our own by trying to even the score. The Divine doesn’t need our help in restoring balance. If there a role for us, something we must physically do, we will be guided. You’ll know that it’s Divine guidance if it is spoken calmly and you feel a sense of peace while hearing it and following the directions. If the words or directions cause you to feel angry or hurt, it’s not the Divine talking, it’s Ego.

Forgiveness does not heal relationships with anyone but yourself, and does not require that you remain in the friendship, marriage or other partnership, job or other organization. Once trust is lost, it takes more than forgiveness to restore it–and restoring trust is the other person’s job, not yours. But while forgiveness cannot necessarily heal a relationship, not forgiving might physically harm you.

Harboring anger and resentment linked to cancer

A study published in the November-December 2012 issue of Cancer Nursing: An International Journal for Cancer Care and cited on the US National Library of Medicine/National Institutes of Health website suggests a link between forgiveness and illness:

“The observed relations between religious characteristics and attitudes of guilt and forgiveness suggest that a careful examination of the role of religious beliefs and values is relevant in the clinical care of patients with cancer, both in the setting of early and advanced disease.”

Metaphysical lecturer and bestselling author Louise Hay, who claimed such a link in her 30-million copy bestseller, You Can Heal Your Life, focused specifically on cancer 20 years later in her book, Cancer: Discovering Your Healing Power. Hay asserted that resentment, criticism, and guilt create and maintain illness. And she presented forgiveness as the key to resolving diseases such as cancer.

We will not be held accountable for the way others treated us, only for the way we treated them, no matter how they treated us.Now, how do you feel about forgiveness? Inspired you to drop everything and start forgiving everyone who’s ever “wronged” you? There are things that have happened to us that we can’t recall or that we’ve protected ourselves from by stuffing those memories in the farthest reaches of our subconscious minds. If those situations are not healed, they can resurface—sometimes violently.

The situation is further complicated if you believe that you are a soul that is temporarily wearing a body. There could be thousands or millions of situations to forgive that are outside of our conscious awareness. To cover that possibility, I like to say: “I forgive myself for causing harm and I forgive everyone throughout my eternal life who has ever harmed me. I release all anger and negative energy that have chained me to those situations and souls.”

Life has dramatically taught me the transformational power of forgiveness, and I eagerly encourage others to reap the benefits of the practice (and it is a practice). Years ago, I created Forgiveness Coupons for one of my Drama Queen Workshops groups. The coupons were such a hit that I posted them on my website as a free download.

Right now, I’m in the process of a “gut rehab” of my original site, after remodeling it several times over the years. But some elements must follow me to the new domain. Among them, these precious coupons.

As I say in my workshops: “How would we experience the power of forgiveness if no one ever did anything that required it?”

I invite you to download the coupons as many times as necessary. Share them freely. Heal yourself and your loved ones—and as you practice forgiveness, be mindful not to do anything that would trigger self-forgiveness or the forgiveness of others. Balance makes no exception for you, Dear Soul.

How to live a disappointment-free life: Part 2

As we concluded in Part 1, it is absolutely impossible to disappoint someone who wasn’t expecting anything. Yet, we’re encouraged to have specific goals and expectations. Of course, there’s no guarantee that our expectations will be fulfilled. But we’re told to expect our desires to manifest anyway.

Am I saying that we should live life on Planet Earth without expectations? No. I am saying that when you understand who you are and where you are—and trust that Divine wisdom is greater than your own—disappointments will no longer be part of your earthly experience.

When you understand who you are and where you are, and trust that Divine wisdom is greater than your own, disappointments will disappear.

Is that so?

In “A New Earth,” Eckhart Tolle tells a fascinating story about a popular Japanese spiritual master who was accused of having a sexual relationship with his next-door neighbor’s pregnant teenage daughter. When confronted by the angry parents, the master merely responded, “Is that so?”

As word spread about the pregnancy, he instantly became a pariah in the town. No one would speak to him or seek his spiritual counsel. When the baby was born, the mother’s parents thrust the child at the master.

The Zen master had lovingly cared for the baby for about a year when the young mother confessed: The baby’s father was not the Zen master; it was her boyfriend, the young man who worked in the butcher shop.

How do you think the master responded when the contrite neighbors came to his home to ask for their grandchild? He responded as he did to the false accusation: “Is that so?”

Most of us could not imagine ourselves reacting that way. How in the world could he?

When I don't mind what happens, I am in alignment with what happens.

Clearly, the Zen master had viewed the girl’s false accusation and his year of parenting her child from the Balcony of Life: It merely another human drama, and he chose not to emotionally invest in it. Instead, he trusted that everything was happening as it should, no matter how goofy it looked on the surface, and he aligned with it.

Going with the flow…

In other words, he went with the flow. He trusted that everything was in Divine Order, and was intended to serve him rather than hurt him. That’s impossible to do when we view ourselves as mortal flesh and bone.

We have been taught to think of ourselves as bodies, under the watchful eye of a God who lives in the far reaches of outer space. When hurtful things happen, and God doesn’t intervene, it reinforces our isolation and vulnerability.

It’s our belief in this capricious, vindictive Outer Space God and our investment in specific outcomes that create our heartbreak, disappointment, and situational depression. We wrap ourselves snugly in the cloak of a victim, carefully fastening every painful button and tightening the disappointment belt around our waists. We are so focused on our pain that we miss the opportunities that we created for ourselves. Doors that shut are merely alerting us that we’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Disappointing people and situations are your puppets

How can a soul experience or practice compassion, generosity, service or even forgiveness and unconditional love unless it writes scenes and characters into its life script that prompt these actions?

From the Balcony of Life, I can see that situations and people who disappoint are working for me; they’re not doing anything to me—even though it doesn’t appear that way to my body costume, Pat Arnold. Situations that didn’t turn out the way Pat wanted are turning out the way I scripted them.

Imagine a place that’s akin to Central Casting in Hollywood: Karma-Creator Central. They warehouse thoughtless individuals who do things to others that they would not want done to them. For them, it’s sport, and they think they’re winning the game. Poor dears.

As souls, we cast these clueless karma-creators in our dramas. We direct them to help us align our bodies and souls, trust the wisdom of the Omnipresent God, and embrace everything that happens as a divinely designed growth opportunity.

Bad actors who disappoint us are merely our puppets. They thought they were being self-serving. In reality, they were serving us, while delaying their own soul’s inner peace. We should appreciate their sacrifice to fulfill our desire to align with the Divine Within.

As Tolle said of the Zen master: “He’s nobody’s victim. His is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore. Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.”

Looking through your immortal eyes

Think about the last thing that happened that you perceived as a disappointment. On sheets of paper or pages on your computer, write:

“When I see this scene from the human side of me, it looks like this… and I feel like this…”

Now, pretend that you’re not on the stage in the middle of the drama. See yourself as an immortal soul sitting in the balcony of Earth’s stage, looking at a drama that you wrote, cast and directed as an opportunity to learn or grow in some specific way. On a separate sheet or page, write:

“When I, as an immortal soul temporarily wearing a human body, see this scene, it looks like this… and I feel like this…”

Why did I create this? How does it serve me?Explore the powerful question we discussed in Part 1: Why did I create this? How does it serve me?

  • Are my feelings about that scene the same when I’m on stage as when I’m in the balcony?
  • Am I still angry or hurt?
  • Am I still emotionally invested or detached?
  • What was the growth opportunity that I, as soul, created for myself?
  • If there were any bad actors, did they perform well as my puppets?

Overcoming Disappointment: Part 1

Disappointed young manPhysicist Albert Einstein asserted that we cannot solve problems from the same level of consciousness at which they were created. Perhaps that’s why I’m seeing an increase in requests for one-on-one Drama Queen Workshop consultations.

It appears that more of us are beginning to realize that we can’t solve a problem until we fully understand it. At the current level of consciousness, some things seem absolutely incomprehensible; so it seems logical, perhaps even natural, to come at it from another vantage point.

Unquestionably, problems look starkly different when you’re standing in the footlights of the world’s stage than when you’re sitting in the balcony. Frequently, the solutions to those problems can easily be spotted from up there, too. With that possibility in mind, we begin to look for the solutions together.

Even though each person has a different set of circumstances and concerns, I’ve noticed that one problem seems to arise more frequently than others: Disappointment. Many are disappointed by the situation they’re in, the person they’re with or the direction their lives have taken. They had a different vision and grander expectations. Therein lies the rub.

Expectation: Root of Disappointment

I think my “all the world’s a stage” mentor, Shakespeare, has given voice to a truth that a lot of us choose to ignore: “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Instead, we follow directives to create expectations and visualize those expectations in great detail. They tell us to feel euphoric, as if we actually have received what we desire.

Some even tell us that if we don’t expect something, we won’t get it. But what is a disappointment but an unfulfilled expectation? And, oh—by the way, how do these folks explain surprises: those gifts that we never envisioned?

My unexpected trip last year to Egypt—on short notice, with all expenses paid, including a luxurious suite in a five-star hotel on the Nile River—comes to mind. My daughter, Maiysha, was headlining the “Sing Egyptian Woman” competition as part of a cultural exchange program for the U.S. Embassy in Cairo.

I accompanied as her publicist. The trip far exceeded my most vivid imagination!

Days after we returned, I had to cancel a long-planned, highly anticipated, prepaid trip to a conference in San Juan. So much for expectations.

What is the real “secret” to manifesting our desires?

Pat at the sphinxWhenever I mention my trip to Egypt, others ask: “How did you manifest that? I want to do that!”

I tell them the same thing I wrote in my book on the Law of Attraction secrets no one wants to talk about: Manifesting depends more on “being” than “doing.” Your soul history plays a significant role, too. I can’t delve into that in a blog post; however, in my metaphysical memoir, I do cite a surprising, real-life example of how my soul’s ancient history impacted my 20th century life.

Chances are, you don’t know anyone who has never experienced a disappointment or a surprise. You probably don’t know people who have always received what they expected. I’m sure the same is true of those who tell us how critical it is to have expectations, so it’s difficult for me to believe that they are unaware that their claim is fallacious.

We want to hear that we control our lives and our experiences here, and there are those who are willing to tell us that we do–sometimes they even charge a fee to hear it. But the fact that so many of us pray for one outcome or another is evidence that humans don’t have total power over what manifests here. So why do some spiritual leaders and motivational/transformational speakers tell us that?

I’m sure their hearts’ desire is to empower and motivate us. But are you more likely to empower someone or set them up for disappointment by misleading them?

You can have everything you want. Really.

From up here in the Balcony of Life, it appears that Spirit said, “You can have everything you want.”

Before finding out if Spirit had said all It had to say, folks excitedly dashed off to “empower” people with the few words they heard. Word spread like wildfire. Apparently, no one asked, “Then why don’t I have it already?”

Short answer: Spirit sees us as souls. When It says “you,” Spirit isn’t talking about the physical body costume you are wearing. The body merely enables you to be visible on Earth’s stage now. It is not “you.”

Indisputably, you can have everything you want. In fact, you do have everything you want, Dear Soul—YOU, not your body. Whatever situation you’re in, whatever you manifest here, you—as an eternal soul—created it.

Understand that to the soul, a human lifetime is a bat-of-an-eyelash experience. Whether a prince or a prisoner, it’s just a role to the soul: a way to experience Life in a different way, learn some lessons, create or complete some karma.

While that’s fine and dandy for immortal souls that have written the scripts, their mortal bodies might be catching hell. That’s when my phone starts ringing and my e-mailbox blows up.

Why did I create this? How does it serve me?Then begins the first step on the journey to find the source of the discomfort. It always starts with this question: “Why did I, as Soul, create this painful situation?”

Life isn’t random, and what happens here on Earth is not intended to hurt us. In fact, as immortal souls, it’s impossible to hurt us. Our only pain comes from our belief that we are mere mortals, disconnected from God.

That, in itself, creates a lot of uncertainty and insecurity that leaves us vulnerable to scary stories about an angry vindictive Being who lives far away in the sky, solves problems by killing humans, and has threatened to come down here to judge us, then sentence us to an eternity of torture.

It’s a not-so-Divine drama starring someone who’s certifiably satanic. He demands that we love and worship him, and we do.

Why, God, why?

You’ve heard that everything happens for a reason. Essentially, every drama in which we find ourselves was scripted purposefully. That’s why the most appropriate questions to ask when we want to move to another scene is, “Why did I, as Soul, create this horror flick? How does it serve my life’s purpose?”

If you dare to ask these questions, Spirit will answer. It’s the one thing I can say you can expect. Your answer may come through—wait for it—unexpected channels: a commercial on TV, something someone says in the line at the grocery store, or one of those “something told me” moments when you’re alone.

Stay open. Listen. Trust. If you want to, drop me a note and tell me what you heard—and how it made you feel to get a response. If you must visualize, see yourself surrounded by unconditionally loving souls who are always available, willing and able to support you through your toughest times.

In Part 2, we’ll go a little deeper and explore ways to eliminate disappointment from your life experience.

Either Jesus was wrong–or we are

bad-mathFor years, I believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and that I became a sinner the moment I took my first breath. That’s what I was told. Everyone around me believed it. As far as I was concerned, it was so—until I began to notice that something didn’t add up:

Jesus didn’t simply die; he was sadistically tortured to death. According to the scriptures, he was made to suffer for something others did, just as I was destined to be punished because of something Adam and Eve did. It made me think.

Is God unfair?

If asked if God is unfair, our natural response is, “Of course not!” But do we really believe that?

Yes or no: Is it fair to blame, harm or kill an innocent person for something someone else did? If not, we actually believe that God is unfair.

If we worship someone who treats others unfairly, what does that say about us? To be consistent, if we believe that satanically torturing an innocent man to death is the divine way to solve a problem, then we also must believe that society should jail or execute innocent people for crimes committed by their relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors. Do we?

No. We live in an if “you do the crime, you do the time” society. Why? It’s only fair.

The truth is, we don’t believe in harming or punishing innocent people, and we don’t know any sane person who does. Yet we love it when God does it.

Would Love do that?

Like most Christians, I was repeatedly told that Jesus’s suffering was an act of godly love. Further, I should be grateful that God loved me so much that He would have Jesus brutally tortured instead of me. And if I didn’t believe that Jesus was tortured, I would be.

I had to wonder: Is it an act of love to torture someone to death? Whether it was for their mistake or someone else’s, is that what Love does?

Furthermore, what kind of person is grateful that an innocent man was executed for a crime he committed? Was I that kind of person? I surely hoped not.

Jesus viewed God differently than we do

The way Jesus viewed God completely contradicts the way the crucifixion story portrays God. Jesus’s view of God is the polar opposite of ours:

Through his Parable of the Prodigal Son, retold in Luke 15, Jesus revealed what kind of father he believed God to be. He related the story of an impatient, greedy son who wanted his inheritance from his father—immediately, thank you very much. Despite the disrespectful “I wish you were dead” implications of his younger son’s demand, the free-willing father bestowed him the inheritance.

How to become a prodigal in a few easy steps

The self-indulgent son and his party pals squandered every cent of the inheritance, quickly transforming this son of wealth into a pauper. He became a laborer on, of all things, a pig farm. He’d hit rock bottom. To this famished heir, even pig feed looked like a banquet.

What next? After treating his father as if he were dead, going back home was out of the question. It was doubtful that he’d ever be forgiven.

But, weighing his options—pig slop or groveling at his father’s feet—he wearily returned home, bracing himself for the verbal or severe physical beating he deserved. He’d be lucky if his father didn’t turn him away or have him stoned to death, as was the custom in those days—and remains so in cultures that are wed to the dictates of their ancient holy books. It is human nature to be vindictive.

We view God as humanly vindictive

What would the next scene look like, if we were writing the story of the Lost Son? How would the father in our story react to seeing the wayward son who had wished him dead and had wasted everything?

My guess is that our scene would start with an angry, judgmental rant, complete with expletives and name-calling. If he allowed his son to live, the father would probably punish him so harshly that he’d wish he had been stoned to death.

In our story, he probably would never regain his position as a beloved son. He had traded that for debauchery.

Jesus viewed God as divinely forgiving

Father greets prodigal sonHow did the father react in Jesus’s story? He spotted his prodigal son from a distance and ran to greet him with open arms. He clothed him in fine garments and ordered a feast, much to the dismay of his older and much more respectful son.

The father in Jesus’s story was unconditionally forgiving, unconditionally loving and totally merciful. Why? That is the way Jesus viewed God.

It was a perception that defied religious teachings and disturbed the religious order. They felt that chaos would erupt if people were not controlled by the threat of extremely harsh or deadly punishment. (We see how well that has worked.)

What if every child was told the same thing when they reached an age of comprehension: “Sweetheart, we live in a what-goes-around-comes-around world. Whatever you do here will be done to you. It’s called karma. It keeps everything in balance. Keep that in mind every waking minute of every day. Let that be your guiding light.”

If we believed that, like the father in Jesus’s parable, God gave all souls the free will to choose our consequences, this world probably would be less chaotic and more heavenly. We would always be thinking that if we steal, cheat, deceive, rape or murder, at some point in our eternal lives the same thing will happen to us. Consequently, we would never do anything that we would not want done to us.

Instead, we worship the ancient human view of God as a controlling, judgmental, vindictive villain, an enforcer, and alas, a sadist who unfairly murders His innocent child.

I have only one thing to say about that: Either Jesus was wrong—or we are.

Forgive us, for we know not what we do

Forgive us, Father, for we know not what we do.

Each Palm Sunday, I am even more sensitive to the fact that for the next week, millions will unknowingly demonize God and believe that they will be mightily blessed for doing so. I’m sure you’re wondering: How in the world can someone demonize God and not know it?

As simply as I can explain it, we can be fully aware that we’re doing something (walking, driving or standing somewhere) without giving it a conscious thought. We frequently do things without thinking about why we’re doing them—or the meaning and implications of our actions.

For example: All of us have found ourselves in a room and wondered, “Why did I come in here?” Or while in the process of doing something, we suddenly ask, “Why am I doing this?”

On rare occasions, we ask, “What does it mean that I am doing this?”

Death by torture: Divine or demonic?

This week we will frequently hear the phrase, “Christ died so that we might live,” as if he lay down on a slab, closed his eyes and stopped breathing. No one ever says, “God gave Jesus to the Romans to be sadistically tortured to death for sins he didn’t commit.” If they did, would it change our perception of God?

God-so-loved the worldWe unconsciously declare, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Have you thought about the meaning of this Bible verse and others that proclaim that Jesus “died for our sins”? Would you like to? Let’s do a Drama Queen Workshops-style thinking exercise:

Scene:

Front door of a beautiful suburban home. A business executive and single father, who has returned home a day early from a business trip, hears loud music and raucous chatter coming from his basement as he opens the door. He walks past beautifully appointed living and dining rooms, then into the huge kitchen, and down to the basement.

As he gets to the foot of the basement stairs and his eyes adjust to the darkness, he surveys the room. It looks like a scene from Sodom and Gomorrah:

Teenagers are drinking alcohol and dancing wildly. A few have passed out on the floor and on the sofas. Four guys are gambling at a table in the corner.

Near the laundry room, two boys are raping a drunk girl in the shadows. One kid, who was severely beaten after vomiting on a classmate, is lying in a pool of his own blood, lifeless.

The father is outraged! “What the hell is going on here? Mandy! Mandy, where are you?”

Screaming kids start scrambling, trying to escape up the stairs. He blocks their exit.

His daughter stumbles over friends to turn off the music and runs to him, stammering, trying to explain. Dad doesn’t want to hear it.

Mandy begs for his forgiveness; but forgiveness is out of the question. She falls to her knees, head bowed, in tears.

Dad is so angry, he can barely look at her. He asks, “Where’s your brother?”

“He left for that spiritual retreat today, remember?” Mandy murmurs, sobbing.

Dad raises an eyebrow. “It looks as if you are the one who should have gone!”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please forgive me. Please forgive all of us,” she says, making a sweeping gesture across the room.

Her friends are now too afraid to move.

Dad thinks for a moment. Looking into the faces of the frightened teens, his tone softens.

“Because I love you so much, I will forgive you—but only on one condition: When John returns, I’m going to have him arrested and slowly tortured to death. His murder will wash away all your crimes. Everyone who believes that I have done this as an act of love will be forgiven of their misdeeds. In fact, they will live forever. So go tell everyone you know.”

That’s our drama. Now, ask yourself:

How would you respond to the father’s forgiveness offer if you were one of those teens in the basement: Would you accept it? Would you be grateful?

Is it an act of love or sadism to have an innocent child sadistically tortured to death so that the guilty children can escape punishment for their own misdeeds?

Why do we believe it is an act of love if God does it?

If a parent loves his guilty children so much that he would protect them by having his innocent child tortured to death, how does he feel about his innocent child?

If we insist to others that God had His innocent child tortured to death, are we proclaiming that God is good or evil?

If we believe that torturing an innocent person to death—for any reason—is a good thing, what does it say about us?

Needless to say, I’ve given this matter considerable thought, and I have concluded that declaring that God does something that Love would not do actually demonizes God. So during Holy Week or any week, I will repeat only one verse from the Bible’s crucifixion narrative: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:24)