Loud Mouth in the Balcony Blog

I had the most delightful telephone chat yesterday with a dear friend who, after asking what day it was, gleefully declared, “It’s been 14 days!”

She explained: It had been 14 days since she smoked a cigarette. Hallelu!

Jeanne had smoked for 39 of the last 41 years, taking a break during pregnancy and again, following acupuncture treatments targeting her nicotine addiction. A bright woman with an advanced degree from an Ivy League school, Jeanne was always aware that cigarettes were ruining her health, but—

“I wanted to be a smoker,” she conceded. “I enjoyed it!”

Jeanne also had a hefty incentive to smoke: The last time she stopped she mushroomed from 110 pounds to 170. Hands down, cigarettes seemed a cuter alternative—until they weren’t.

Jeanne’s undergraduate major was math; but she didn’t need a degree to calculate that, at $9.21 a pack (with Illinois, Cook County and Chicago taxes), cigarettes were burning an irreparable hole in her monthly budget—more than $200 in cold hard cash that she could have saved or spent on something more beneficial, like food or a health club membership or fun, like designer pumps or books.

Jeanne had the option of clutching her habit, even though it didn’t serve her well, and complaining incessantly about the high cost of cigarettes and the bitter Chicago winter, as her teeth chattered between puffs. That’s what most of us do when adversity strikes: We get stuck in what we think is a comfort zone. It’s not.

Longing for what was (in this case, cheaper smokes) prevents us from experiencing the blessing of what is (a healthier body). Most new situations demand change, and change removes us from the familiar; that’s why we are so hell-bent against it. It’s like the old adage, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” We don’t want to be stagnant, but we don’t want to change, either. Can’t have both: We can’t grow unless we move from our current level—and take the lessons we’ve learned with us.

As Albert Einstein once said, “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” Makes sense, but whether it’s a problem in our workplaces, our relationships or our checkbooks, we still look for answers by maintaining the same thoughts and beliefs, and consequently we take the same shortsighted and often counter-productive actions.

What if, instead of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, we approached challenges from a higher level of thinking? Aloft, we might be able to see our problems differently. If nothing else, they would look smaller and have less power over us, and absolutely no power over our emotional state.

Thinking about our problems (or obsessing about how to solve them) every waking hour not only holds the problems in the mass between our ears, it slows the natural cycle of their departure. Quite possibly, acquiring answers requires less thought and more creativity.

If you can accept that possibility, maybe you can imagine this: You are more powerful than you think—and you have access to more powerful answers than you know: Just for fun, close your eyes and imagine Earth as a sphere the size of a tennis ball. Hold it in your hand.

Imagine that this ball is inhabited by millions of intelligent, invincible and invisible beings—each made in the image of their Creator. Let’s call them souls, for lack of a better term. You can’t see them and they can’t see each other unless they’re wearing some kind of physical gear. Let’s call that gear a “body.”

Are you still with me? OK. Now let’s suppose that none of these intelligent beings is native to the tennis ball planet; everyone is a visitor. They come for only one purpose: to play a fascinating and clever game called “So, You Think This Is Life?” The rules of the game are simple and redundant, by design:

1. Do nothing to others that you wouldn’t want others to do to you. 
2. Love others as you love yourself. 
3. Forgive others’ mistakes the same way you’d want yours forgiven. 

All acts that violate these simple rules are self-punishing: As one of the books available on the tennis ball admonishes: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” (Matthew 7.1-2)

Long story short: Violating these simple rules absolutely sucks the fun out of the game. But even that misery doesn’t last forever because every invisible soul enters the game (and the planet) with an exit strategy. Every soul gets out alive. After all, they were made in their Creator’s image, so they are just as invincible and eternal. By contrast, no body has ever left the game alive. Many are so focused on what happens when the game clock runs out that they fail to accomplish the goals of the experience.

The real object of this game, which is very popular among the invisible intelligent beings, is to remember how creative and powerful they are—no matter what distracts them or scares them into believing that they’re mortal. Mortals are naturally afraid. Fear naturally leads to failure because fearful souls have impaired cognitive ability. In fact, they’re too afraid to trust anyone to successfully navigate them through the challenges of the game. And what an extremely challenging game it is, which is why billions of souls are so attracted to the little sphere.

If given the opportunity to spend a brief period, let’s say an average of 75 tennis ball years (a bat of an eyelash in the infinite scheme of life), navigating through a variety of dramatic scenarios designed to make you forget that you are eternal, would you try it? What if you could bolster your chances of success by playing the game as a team sport? Like you, some of your team members are inside physical bodies and have egos. They can be helpful, but not consistently, because their physical trappings are also handicapping them.

Luckily, some of your teammates are not visible. They are sparks of Divine Light. They have not forgotten who you are, and they have agreed to remind you and guide you back on track whenever you wander out of bounds.

Despite their accessibility, chances are, you only consult with them unconsciously, when your ego/personality and body are asleep. Rarely do you recall what happened or the guidance that you were given. You can’t understand why you’re not making progress.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that others are able to overcome more challenges in a shorter period of time, and rarely are they fearful, stressed over overwhelmed when a challenge arises. Just a guess, but these souls are probably consulting with the Divine more frequently, through prayer or meditation, and they have managed to maintain some perspective. They remember who they are and why they are here, despite the fear-peddling and other chaos that run rampant on this small sphere.

What if you, as an infinite and powerful Soul, were aware that whatever you are experiencing right now is precisely what you need to go through to grow to the next level? Perhaps this difficulty might have been created to get your attention so that you could get back on course. Perhaps it’s merely balancing out one of the rules you might have broken. No matter what the reason, until you learn the lesson inherent in the experience, you are bound to repeat it until you do.

What do we create when we believe that life is difficult and that we serve a hurtful, vindictive, complicated and capricious God who solves problems by satanically killing and torturing people? Confusion, fear and pain. Maybe we stand a better chance of winning this game if we consider that everything we experience is designed for our benefit—even if it’s an astronomical price tag on a pack of worthless cigarettes.

I had a different topic in mind for this week’s homily. Then I was abruptly awakened and given a new one. It was almost 3 o’clock this morning. That’s when my phone rang.

It was my daughter, Maiysha. She was in the Amsterdam airport, en route to South Africa, and she was in tears.

“It appears that my wallet is missing,” she said calmly, but I could hear the tears in her voice.

There have been many moments during her young life that Maiysha has made me immensely proud. The moment she spoke those words ranked among my favorites: Why? She’d told me that it appeared that her wallet, debit card and all her cash were missing.

Whoo hoo! Maiysha not only had heard the Loud Mouth’s rants, she’d internalized them. How many times had I told her that what happens on planet Earth is a physical appearance–only a shadow of what’s really happening in the world of Spirit, the Source of all Life? How many times had I said that when we believe that the physical plane is real and the spiritual plane is not, we’re more likely to live in fear, a state that prevents us from thinking clearly and responding appropriately when challenges arise?

Those concepts are tough to embrace because, like most of us, Maiysha spends practically every waking moment with people who believe that physical life is Life Itself.

“Remember to breathe,” I said, reminding her of the email message from “Loving Each Day” that I’d forwarded hours earlier. (If you’re ready to think rather than blindly accept others’ beliefs, treat yourself to a free subscription of these daily thought-provoking emails.) Yesterday’s message was:

“When you find yourself in a tense situation, for example, you may notice that you are holding your breath. Putting your attention on your breathing can help you relax and immediately be in the here and now. This practice, found in many spiritual traditions, is often referred to as mindfulness, being present, or living in the now.

“You may ask, since we’re breathing all the time, why do we need to practice it? What we’re practicing is conscious awareness of the breath. Then breathing becomes a concentration exercise that not only focuses the mind but brings many healing benefits as well.”

– John-Roger with Paul Kaye
(From: Momentum, Letting Love Lead – Simple Practices for Spiritual Living, p. 61)

“I am trying to breathe, Mom,” Maiysha said. “Actually, it’s helping me stay calm.”

True, she wasn’t flipping out, despite the disappointment of retracing her steps, speaking with empathetic but unhelpful airport personnel, and coming up empty. Plus, her flight to Capetown left in less than an hour. Luckily, she had her passport and boarding pass. A limousine was picking her up at the airport, and her hotel was paid. But she had no money–and no access to any. As much as she hated to wake me, she needed her Mom by her side at that moment.

As I “stood” in line with her at the customer service counter, a more helpful airline employee took one look at my child’s tear-filled eyes and offered to check the cabin of the plane, just in case she’d left it onboard. It was a long-shot, but the wallet hadn’t turned up anywhere else. What if she’d been pick-pocketed?

I started to get dressed so that I could dash around the corner to her bank, and withdraw her daily cash limit with the duplicate debit card that had her bank had issued me. Afterward, we’d cancel both cards and I’d wire the cash to a location near her Capetown hotel.

That resolved her problem on the physical plane; but we knew there was more. We began to look deeper, pondering the questions I always ask in situations such as this: “Why did I create this predicament? How does it serve me: What learning opportunities does it present? How does it help me grow spiritually?”

When we see exclusively with our physical eyes, we miss the information, answers and blessings from Spirit that are so close to us. Seeking the opportunities for growth in every situation brings us closer to the “I am always with you” Christ Spirit that lives within us. It allows us breathe peacefully, not panic.

Sure, it was possible that thieves might have made a hefty withdrawal from their karmic accounts by trying to steal money from Maiysha’s bank account; but we trusted that God would bring perfect balance to both sides. Trusting that, we also realized what a divine blessing it was that she was compelled to buy a gift for her Dad at an airport shop; otherwise, she would have been in Capetown before discovering that her wallet was missing. Finally, we trusted that the situation would resolve itself for everyone’s Highest Good.

It certainly was good for me to witness Maiysha moving through this dilemma fearlessly and peacefully. She was prepared to accept the outcome of the search of the plane, no matter what. She merely hoped that she’d discover the outcome before time to board her next flight.

Finally, she spotted the agent approaching her. Before I could ask, I heard her say, “They found it!”

We breathed more deeply. What an opportunity had been presented to us. We could mouth the words, “I trust God,” and we can say we trust in a perfect outcome. But until we demonstrate that trust to ourselves, they are empty words.

What was the “perfect” outcome here: having Maiysha’s wallet returned intact? No, although it was. Remember “thy will be done?” That’s what it means: trusting and acquiescing to the will of your Higher Self. “Perfect” was whatever her soul wanted the outcome to be, even if it meant that the body surrounding the soul went to Capetown penniless. Physical life is just a shadow.

Wow, you’re not going to believe this: The phone just rang again. It was the doorman. It appears that I left my wallet in a chair downstairs a couple of hours ago. I hadn’t even missed it. As I rode the elevator down to the lobby, I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. It’s as if it happened so that the story angle I’d been given came full circle.

Yes, every card and every penny in the wallet were there. But I would have been as peaceful, even if they hadn’t been.

Trust me: You can do this. You can enjoy the peace that comes from trusting the divine God within you, no matter what appears to go awry on planet Earth.

Will you be in the Chicago area March 26-28? The Loud Mouth in the Balcony is conducting a workshop at the Women’s Leadership Conference. For more information on this event and the other dynamic presenters, visit my website: http://www.dramaqueenworkshop.com/events.html.

Truth shows up in the most unlikely places. I recently stumbled upon one of the most profound bits of truth printed on the tag of my tea bag:

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

The writer was Horace Walpole. I’d never heard of this English nobleman; but he instantly felt like kin because, like the Loud Mouth, he subscribed to his predecessor William Shakespeare‘s theory that “all the world’s a stage.” What intrigued me, however, was that Walpole seemed to be declaring that life is actually more fun for those who think–and more tragic for those who respond to life’s dramas emotionally.

Let’s think about that: What if you were born in the kingdom of a monarch whom no one had actually ever seen? He lived on a mountain that no one had ever visited and returned to tell firsthand stories, but you had it on good authority from well-respected leaders in the community that the king could be violently angry and vindictive. They said that he sometimes used excessive force to punish disobedience, but most of the time he simply ignored it. There was no predictability to his actions.

You never understood, and never questioned why the king behaved this way. You weren’t sure what would happen if you asked why he commanded his subjects to be forgiving and nonviolent, since he didn’t value or emulate this behavior. And why did he demand love, worship, and money?
Can you really love this volatile hypocrite? Could you truly entrust your life to him–or would you continue to live in fear, stress out, like everyone else around you?

Have you noticed that fearful people are typically reactionary and rarely rational? Take the leaders in this kingdom, for instance: To save themselves and others from a horrible and painful fate, they might create rules, regulations, restrictions, rituals, readings and regimens designed to appease the tyrannical king. Their aim was to control behaviors in the kingdom so that they could control outcomes from the king, especially since good people got hurt when he summoned the forces of nature against the entire kingdom.

Fearful people are more likely to create stories or dramas that support their fears and rally support from others. After all, who wants to be in a frightening situation alone? Since the beginning of recorded time, the most effective tool used to control human behaviors and outcomes is…Fear. It launches a never-ending cycle of drama of the most tragic kind.

Is the ruler of your kingdom a vindictive hypocritical tyrant? How can your life become less tragic?

This week’s homily was motivated by an particularly insightful response to last week’s essay, “God as Valentine:”

“I am of the mind that the practice of the time should not be mingled with the theology/belief that we in today’s world have or should have for who God is.”

What’s so exciting about this response is that it addresses, with laser focus, the reason so many of us are hurting right now: We have accepted ancient scribes’ vision of what God is, what God wants, what God does and through what practices God should be served.

Is it possible that the ancient scribes’ view of God might not be real? Their view of God is based on their limited knowledge of everything from genetics and geography to astronomy and physics. Most of those who heard their stories were illiterate, not intellectuals.

Our understanding of life on this planet has evolved; yet we place our faith in ancient scribes who believed that the earth not only was flat; it was the center of the Universe. The ancients believed that God demanded live sacrifices. Today, we call such sacrifices satanic.

What changed: Us or God?

If we had a better understanding of what God is and what God does, we wouldn’t feel so abandoned or punished when Life flips us on our heads. Is our faith in the words or in our God? As Stevie says, “When you believe in things that you don’t understand, you suffer.”

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand this: In the ancients’ version of human history, God planned a mass murder; he declared that he would ”wipe out” every plant and tree, and all but a few living creatures. He then waited patiently for decades for Noah to build an ark so that God could stow away a few survivors.

Then, the scribes tell us, after that long wait, God turned on the spigot and forgot about the ark. On the 40th day, they wrote, God “remembered” (Gen. 8:1). Are we to believe that God is not omniscient or that the ancients weren’t sophisticated storytellers?

Not sure? Try this: As their story continues, the rain suddenly stopped; but the waters didn’t recede for another 110 days. That seems to have confused poor Noah–and we certainly can understand that. He had to have been delirious by then.

Let’s face it: 150 days on a luxury cruise ship would drive anyone batty! What would be the mental condition of someone confined to a vessel with one window and one door–and filled with fecal matter and carcasses of animals (and perhaps humans) who didn’t survive the life-threatening and unsanitary conditions? Without a 150-day supply of food and potable water, how did any of them survive?

The ancient scribes didn’t think that through. They could only write what they knew.

An omniscient God, however, certainly knew what would happen under such inhumane conditions. So what does that say for this version of history being from God’s mouth to the scribes’ ears? What do you say when a 21st Century construction contractor in the Netherlands devotes nearly four years of his life replicating the vessel to the exact dimensions that the scribes provided?

As the ancient story goes, Noah trusted a dove, who didn’t escape the horrific conditions on the ark by flying out of the open window, to be smart enough to bring him proof that the water had receded. The fact that the bird returned wasn’t a miracle. But returning with a freshly plucked olive leaf? (Gen. 8:11) Every plant, tree and bush on earth was root-rotted. The ancient scribes weren’t aware, but we know that dead bodies contaminate water; so how on earth did an olive tree grow?

And how on earth did they devise this ending to this story? After leaving the ark, a grateful Noah built an altar to God, took some of the surviving animals and birds and inhumanely killed them, as a sacrifice (Gen. 8:20). Help me out here: They had miraculously managed to survive the grotesque conditions with little food and water, among carnivorous predators–to end up on a butcher’s slab? Raise your hand if you believe this.

Keep it raised if you believe the next sentence in this saga: “The LORD smelled the soothing aroma; and the LORD said to Himself, “I will never again curse the ground on account of man, for the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth; and I will never again destroy every living thing, as I have done.” (Gen. 8:21).

Yes, we are to believe that:

• God found the smell of the dead meat soothing. (Did the aroma waft up to Heaven?)
• God decided that killing everything and everybody wasn’t such a great idea after all–and said that He would never do it again (God makes mistakes?)
• God came to the conclusion that humans are simply evil. (Wouldn’t an omniscient God would know that before the genocide?)

I know someone is going to object: We shouldn’t question what God does.
Of course, that presumes that God is so impotent that He is threatened or angered by our desire to understand Him. More important, it presumes that God is not fully evolved and that man is not evolving toward Godliness.

Are you open to the possibility that God has been waiting patiently for centuries for us to evolve enough to ask these common sense questions? Is it possible that God has been waiting for someone–maybe you–to disassociate him from these barbaric, inhumane acts and clear His good name?

1. What Do I Believe–and Why Do I Believe It?
2. Do I believe that God is Love?
3. How do I expect God to express love?
4. Do I believe that Love would torture an innocent person to death, to benefit the guilty?
5. Do I believe that God would torture an innocent person to death, to benefit the guilty?
6. Do I believe that Love commits or sanctions inhumane behavior for any reason?
7. Do I believe that God commits or sanctions inhumane behavior for any reason?
8. Are live sacrifices satanic or loving acts?

There are no right or wrong answers here. The important thing is that you begin to think about your beliefs, and begin to understand what your beliefs mean and how they make you feel? For example, are you more likely to be fearful if you believe that God who solves problems by killing people? Does fear generate peace or stress?

I’ll be asking questions every week. You supply your own answers. As you explore your beliefs, in private, you’ll begin to discover a lot about yourself–perhaps even more about your perceptions of God.

Every parent knows how giddy we get when our kids do well. My over-achiever potty-trained herself, was “top of the class” smart in school, graduated from a prestigious college and became a successful Ford model. Now my singing/songwriting baby girl has captured a Grammy nod.